


Dreams of Death

by cqbrui



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Other, Self-Harm, Self-Mutilation, Suicidal Thoughts, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-29 23:52:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13938105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cqbrui/pseuds/cqbrui
Summary: Inside the mind of Gideon, a torture victim.





	Dreams of Death

Every day, Gideon watched the hall. He listened. He could hear the other children; whimpering, staying silent, and some who'd decided to smile despite it all. Gideon knew those were in denial, but he let them have it. Maybe it kept them sane.   
His mind had fractured long ago; broken pieces trying to protect the whole were all that were left. It was almost...animal. Just the pure instinct for survival. Surviving, and _making it stop_ were all that truly mattered anymore.   
But Gideon didn't know how to make it stop. He didn't understand why any of it was happening. Every day, Gideon would come up with a new reason it happened.   
Fun. But they didn't seem to enjoy it all that much. They just seemed angry.   
Anger. Then what was he doing wrong? Should he make his bed neater? Clean his cell? Sit quietly and not move? No one seemed to have the right tactics. Even those that stopped fighting still had it happen. Their passive faces, their glassy eyes, the way they stopped moving altogether, nothing saved them. Nothing stopped it.   
Maybe they were looking for something. But what was it? Gideon had already apologized for whatever it was he did. He'd already tried begging and pleading. Maybe if he cut off all the parts they hurt, he wouldn't be hurt anymore.   
That would be hard, though. They kept all the sharp things in that place. And he might mess up and die, and then they'd be even angrier. Or worse, he'd only halfway die, and they'd save his life and hurt him more.   
If he was going to cut off his limbs, he'd need a very solid plan. Maybe a guillotine? But how would he make it? And more importantly, how would he prevent the limbs from being reattached? He could get some bleach. That would kill the legs as soon as they hit it, right? Bleach eats things.   
But the blood. He'd definitely have to use a tourniquet to prevent himself from bleeding out.   
Okay, so it was a plan; gather a blade and some sort of guillotine apparatus, some bleach, and something to use as a tourniquet. Then cut off his limbs. The shock would prevent him from feeling that much pain (not that what happened in that place hadn't already prepared him for working through pain, but he must be careful).   
Gideon smiled as tears rolled down his face. It was such a nice dream to have, in this place of horror.   
Footsteps came and Gideon prepared to fight. He couldn't help it; he wanted to go comatose, but he couldn't. The animal wouldn't let him. As they opened his cell door, Gideon's shattered self slipped away.   
Survive. End the pain. It's all that matters.


End file.
